Self appointed Gold Stars
by sarah hope
Summary: A story of....smug proportions. Superior to say the least. DraMione DMHG with possible HPLL


Gold Stars

Chapter 1

She wandered the halls not knowing where she was going just knowing that she needed to get away. How had she let it get this far? Why hadn't she stopped it in the beginning when she still had control? Like a fool she let her guard down and wound up in this mess. He loved her. Love, what a cliché and utterly unbelievable waste of an emotion. It scared her more than anything had ever scared her before. But it wasn't her fear that was the problem it was what she was going to have to do about it. When someone had finally convinced themselves that they were in love there was no going back to the way things were in the "pre-love" days.

She wasn't a pessimist or anything, she just didn't like being lied to and love had never been anything but a lie to her. She also didn't like speciousness, and people in love were the epitome of fake. Ironically, in her effort to avoid "false" people she herself became one. She feigned closeness with everyone but let no one in. She had a warm lively personality that made many people feel comfortable around her but she frequently found herself on the verge of tears. She was constantly surrounded by people who cared about her but she was sure that she was as lonely as any one could ever be. She trusted no one but everyone trusted her. It saddened her to realize that all of her careful intricate planning had just completely fallen apart. How had she been so stupid? She still couldn't figure it out. No matter how long she dwelled on it she could not figure it out.

"Darnet!" she outwardly stated her disbelief at her predicament

"Excuse me?" she looked up and was shocked to find the one person that she really didn't want to see right now smirking down at her.

"Oh nothing, I _am _sorry, I didn't mean you-I was just thinking and then I…umm…I don't know what I was doi-I am sorry for running into you and scaring you or whatever it was I did." She had regressed into her rambling nature; and she continued berating herself for allowing the surprise at being caught by him (especially him) to make her stutter like she had.

"Are you going a bit mad in the head finally?"

"Nothing's wrong" she replied angrily and though she hated to admit it a little guiltly. She didn't have the time nor the energy to deal with him right now

"Are you sure?" he actually looked a little bit concerned. She must look pretty bad for Draco to be able to pick up on her hurt. Actually, she wasn't terribly surprised, Malfoy always had a knack for picking up on peoples low points.

"I am fine and even if I wasn't don't waste your time pretending that you care."

"Suit yourself Granger. I'll just leave you to your cursing into nothing then. Slowly decending into madness…" And with that he started to strut away flailing his arm dramatically, pantomiming her madness. How dare he?

That stung more than it should of and the sad truth was that she wanted to tell him everything. Seriously what was wrong with her?

"_You want to know __**what**_** my bloody** _problem_** is**?! You _**really**_ want to know?!" She half screamed, the words were spat out. She no longer cared about pretending. All she wanted was truth and reality.

"Why else would I have asked?" He responded calmly, expectantly. She couldn't help but realize how incredibly childish she had just been.

"I don't know anymore. I don't know what's wrong." She somewhat resignedly admitted. She sat on the wall next to her and stuck her head in her hands. "And that is what's wrong. _I _am **supposed** to know. _I_ am **supposed** to understand exactly what's going on in my life and now all of a sudden I don't. You don't understand how out of control I feel right now and how completely lost I am and not just because Ron loves me but also because I don't love him and especially with my parents I don't even believe in love, so how could he love me? I am not even lovable and…" she stopped suddenly realizing where she was and who she was venting to. She had **not** meant to tell him all of that. And now she rather regretted letting him in on what was plaguing her thoughts because now he would have even more ammo to torture her with.

"Wow. I didn't think that I would get that much." He was obviously pleased and asserted himself now with a sort of smugness one gets when they are trying to be kind.

" I just assumed the weasel and pothead had left you out or something stupid like that." He folded his arms, obviously getting into his element. " So let's see if I understand this: Ron loves you, you don't love him and don't in fact believe in love, you are scared that your friendship will be lost and because of your parents divorce and your mother's recent death your views on love have been lowered even more. Sounds like a whole load of mudtears to me." And then bitterly, almost to himself he added

" If you want to know real problems you ought to come and visit my family." As he was saying this he realized he wasn't helping matters and though he really didn't like her he also didn't dislike her. She was just in the wrong lineage and he was in the right one. To be honest she wasn't all that bad. He of course would never ever say that out loud but it was the truth.

"I am sorry Granger. Those are some pretty hefty issues and I definitely wouldn't want to be in your shoes but to be quite honest…I have something I must tell you." Draco reckoned with himself that, even if his sacrifice of coming in close proximity with Granger did not work, he could always open a new bag of beans to tease her with.

She looked at him suspiciously. He made a face that was close to his usual arrogant smirk but his eyes held more mirth. He reached out with a mocking expression and grasped her shoulder in the stereotypical fashion.

"Last year Weasley couldn't keep his eyes off of me he practically eye-raped me every time we saw each other, so I hate to break it you, but he loved me first. He even tried to kiss me in Umbridge's office."

He was relieved to hear her laughing and was actually feeling pretty proud of himself for successfully cheering up some one that he was sure hated every fiber of his being. Or at least most of them; his hair fibers could not be hated easily.

Then as fate (who had a very nasty sense of humor) would have it they had an unexpected visitor. Actually to be honest there were two. Draco was horrified to realize that he was in very close proximity to Hermione and his hand was placed on her back. When that had happened he couldn't really remember but it definitely wasn't good considering who their intruder was.

"What are you two doing" asked a visibly confused Ron.

"Scared of a little competition are we weasley?" Draco smirked as he replied. Inwardly, he patted himself on the back for such a wittyretort._ I never cease to amaze myself._

"No, Hermy are you okay?"

"Not even I am rubber, you're glue? I **am** disappointed. What ever shall I do without your clever additions to my witty comebacks piggy bank?" Draco looked just as pleased with himself as ever. _Two in a row he thought. I am on fire. Feel the burn._

"Can you shut the hell up Malfoy I am trying to figure out what you have done to Hermione."

"O contraire it isn't what I have done but instead what you have done. Why do you think she has been so uncharacteristically silent throughout the entirety of our witty banter? For once not a single know-it-all remark" _I seriously am amazing he thought again. Just when she thought I was going to be her knight in shining armor I slide in there and let her know how truly wrong she was. I will have to remember to give myself another gold star when I get back to my room! Playing with Granger is ever so fun._

Ron stood there dumbfounded. He realized that every word Draco had said was true. Hermione wasn't looking at him and she was obviously troubled about something especially considering the fact that she was letting Draco come to her aid. He of course had tried to save face by insulting her but it was obvious that he was protecting her. Recognizing defeat, Ron nodded and headed back to his dormitory no doubt to sulk. As soon as he was out of hearing rang Hermione hit Draco upside the head. He shot her a look of incredulity and got up to walk away. As he rounded the corner, though, he was quite certain that he heard the faintest thank you.


End file.
